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Normal Workplace Behavior – Creepypasta

Obey the Pattern - Creepypasta
Studying Time: eight minutes

“You can’t say you’ve lived until you’re dead.”

That’s what my father stated to me.

Earlier than blowing his brains out with a shotgun.

One second his head was there, and the subsequent it was gone.

All of it.

Sprayed everywhere in the air.

Masking the whole sky.

He was proper.

* * * * * *

Working in a cubicle isn’t for everybody.

It’s every part to me.

The job is straightforward. I merely sort in letters and numbers.

Doesn’t all the things revolve round letters and numbers?

I press the keys on my keyboard, and identical to that my work is completed.

It’s straightforward. It’s regular.

I’ve rigorously chosen my group of co-staff with whom I work together with probably the most.

Peggy – the chubby woman who lusts after me. She is a revolting little factor, however understanding I might simply snap my fingers and have her do my each bidding arouses me greater than she ever might. I like that.

Susan – probably the most clever and engaging lady on the ground. I like how skilled she seems to be, how intelligent she sounds. I just like the tone of her voice. I like how she takes the job critically. She is going to possible rise to the highest someday. Until she dies. Until she will get most cancers. I hope she will get most cancers. Peggy hates her guts as a result of she thinks I’ve a factor for her. I don’t, however I like seeing Peggy attempt to outdo herself for nothing. It’s entertaining.

Tom – new blood. Younger child. Formidable. Seems as much as me like I’m some type of position-mannequin. Flattering. Sickening. Feels good.

Bob – thinks he’s higher than me. Needs he might be me. Needs to be me. Needs me lifeless. He’s nugatory, but he’s additionally like a bit of shit caught on my shoe; I do know I can grind his face on the pavement each time I would like. Figuring out this provides me nice pleasure.

They serve their function.

Others have tried to insert themselves into our little group however I inform them we can’t have that.

I can’t have that.

Peggy, Susan, Tom, Bob and I make 5.

“Five’s a handful” I inform them.

I don’t want greater than a handful.

I are not looking for greater than a handful.

It is best to all the time hold a free hand.

We don’t speak a lot concerning the job. No.

We speak about dying. Sure.

Everybody does. Everybody smiles.

Get up. Activate the information. See youngsters’s blown up limbs at a live performance venue.

Drive to work. Accident forward. Mangled physique. Take an image.

Toilet break. Learn obituaries. Have a wank.

We not fake we care.

Dying considerations solely the dying.

Demise is the brand new regular.

That is regular.

I’m regular.

* * * * * *

Day by day after work we get collectively for our day by day present and inform proper earlier than we depart.

Peggy has an image of a corpse discovered marinating in a bathtub for a few years. Good high quality. You’ll be able to virtually odor the stays. Not very unique.

Tom exhibits us a video on his telephone. Says he purchased it on the darkish net. POV footage. Overseas language. Kindergarten. Lady going round stabbing toddlers throughout nap time. I nod approvingly. No less than he’s making an attempt.

Bob brings us one other execution line-up from abroad conflicts. Nothing we haven’t seen earlier than. Unimaginative. I really feel insulted.

Susan brings up her pill. Video is titled babyjump098_wmv. The digital camera is positioned on a white marbled flooring. Kitchen, almost definitely. There’s a bare new child on the bottom, abdomen up. A ladder is prepped up close to it. It’s crying. No audio, however we will inform. 20 seconds of this, adopted by half a second of somebody leaping on it with a pair of heavy boots. We solely see the aftermath for a few second earlier than the video instantly loops again to the start. Regardless of. We watch once more.

Once more. Once more. Once more. Once more.

Susan simply wins the spherical. I applaud her. Peggy is upset.

Susan blushes, says I haven’t even proven mine.

“No need” I inform her.

“Because it’s shit, ain’t it?”

“Shut up, Bob” stated Peggy.

I take a look at Bob. I smile again at him.

“You would know, considering you reek of shit yourself.”

Susan giggles earlier than masking her mouth.

“Oh he got you there!” stated Peggy.

I cringe each time she opens her mouth.

Bob provides us a half-hearted chuckle.

“Haha, careful now! You know I keep my baseball bat in the trunk, don’t you? One of these days I’ll-“.

“Every day is one of these days to you. That’s why you’ll never amount to anything. That’s why you are one miserable, smelly piece of dog excrement. Take your shot whenever you want. I’d like to see you try.”

“Oh… snap” Peggy mumbled.

I can inform that received her moist.

I throw up a bit in my mouth.

Bob forces one other haha earlier than leaving the workplace.

* * * * * *

Work is over.

I head right down to the parking zone within the basement.

I don’t take the elevator.

I by no means take the elevator.

I hate the elevator.

Hate driving with others. Can’t stand their odor, their contact, their mouth phrases.


I take the steps.

I all the time do.

Virtually nobody ever does.

I wish to stroll. Wish to stretch my legs.

I can transfer at my very own tempo. No interruptions.

I can hear my footsteps. I can odor myself.

I just like the sound of me. I just like the odor of me.

Typically I feel the steps have been made only for me.

Gripping the railing all the time provides me a tough-on.

“I’m so hard I could fuck these walls back to the Stone Age”, is what I feel.

I attain the final flight of stairs.

Somebody stands between me and the door to the parking zone.

No. Not standing.

Sprawled out on the steps. Briefcase extensive open. Private objects scattered about.

It’s Paul from two flooring up.

Paul has made a mockery of my stairs.

Paul has made a mockery of me.

I stroll down the steps, cautious to not contact any of his filthy issues.

“Hello, Paul.”

Paul appears at me with extensive eyes. He tries to talk. He’s a sweaty, disgusting mess. His head is bleeding. Should have tripped. I take a look at my watch. I’m 2 minutes forward of schedule. I sigh.

“What’s the matter, Paul”

He’s respiration closely. Hand holding his chest. He tries to rise up, however can’t. Tries to succeed in me however I stroll down an extra step.

“What is it, Paul”

He shakes his hand as he factors to one thing on the bottom. The sight of his mundane belongings is almost sufficient to get me sick and lie down on the steps as nicely, however I might relatively die.

I see the insulin pen and perceive. I snicker.

“Right. I remember. Then again I had completely forgotten about your existence until just now.”

Paul motions me to get it for him. I chuckle once more.

“I’m sorry Paul. I already washed my hands, and-“

I look at my watch.

“-yes, that’s all the time I have. Nice not knowing you.”

I exit via the door and proceed to the parking zone.

* * * * * *

As I stroll to my automotive, my senses are raped by a really acquainted stench.

I cease. Crack a smile.

“I can smell you from here, Bob.”

I stand utterly nonetheless.

This isn’t an issue.

That is Bob.

“Come to take your shot, have you?”

To even think about that Bob might ever pose a menace to me in any method is past nauseating.

I don’t even flip round to face him.

He’s nothing.

Nothing to fret about.

“I haven’t got all day, Bob. I have places to be. The back of my skull is right here.”

I faucet on my cranium with my index finger and depart it there.

In case Bob wants instructions.


“First one’s free, Bob. But if I’m still standing afterwards you know that’s it for you.”

Extra silence.

Then, sounds of fast footsteps leaving the scene.

“See you on Monday, Bob.”

* * * * * *

I wish to drive round for an hour or two after work.

I don’t like heading residence immediately.

Night time time is the suitable time.

I’m alright, so I drive.

I activate the radio.

Flip up the quantity.

Sing alongside to the hits.

Punch myself within the face each time I cease at a pink mild.

Onerous sufficient to really feel. Arduous sufficient to bleed.

The driving force in entrance of me is being carjacked.

A lady is pulled out of the automotive from the driving force’s seat.

Loud screaming.

Louder bang bangs.

They take her automotive and disappear into the night time.

They depart her in the midst of the street.

They depart an issue for me in the midst of the street.

Issues require fixing.

I exit my automotive and strategy her.

She’s dropping blood.

She’s dying.

She appears beautiful.

“Where did you get that dress?” I ask her.

She gurgles.

“I see. Can you move to the side of the road?”

She doesn’t appear prepared to facilitate issues for me.

I’m going again to my automotive and resume my drive.

Hit a small bump on the street.

No huge deal. Obtained a brand new gown.

I attain my vacation spot after some time.

Received distracted by the music.

Numerous acquainted hits.

I attain for the radio to show it off.

There’s nothing there.

Night time time is the proper time.

* * * * * *

I get residence.

The youngsters are glued to the television.

They’re watching The Lion King.

They’re singing alongside to the “Hakuna Matata” music.

“It means no worries for the rest of your days

It’s our problem-free philosophy-“

I am momentarily entranced by the movie.

Its shapes, sounds and those other things. What are they called again?

Right. Colors.

I forget that they’re a thing sometimes.

Sometimes I forget about things, but it’s ok.

No worries.

“Those two words will solve all your problems-“

“Hakuna Matata!” I say.

The youngsters flip to face me.

They don’t seem to be my youngsters.

Do I even have youngsters?

I take a look at my arms. No ring. No worries.

I seize the distant and switch up the quantity.

“Hakuna Matata!” I repeat.

Typically I overlook how youngsters might be so filled with shade as nicely.

“Hey! Pumba! Not in front of the kids-”

You’ll be able to even paint whole partitions with them.

* * * * * *

Again in my automotive. Again on the street.

I decide up a hooker. I attempt.

She says I appear to be hell.

I can’t assist however smile.

“But honey-“, I begin, as I show her the money, well over what she makes in a month, “-I feel like heaven!”

She will get in. Tells me to not pull some “psycho shit” or else.

I snigger.

“Or else what?” I ask.

She exhibits me a butterfly knife. Does fancy tips.

I snicker once more.

Slam my fist towards the dashboard.

She jumps in her seat.

The glove compartment opens up.

“You can hold on to that” I inform her.

She’s confused. Picks up the six-shooter.

Checks for ammo. Absolutely loaded.

Places it again. Begins to undress.

“None of that” I say.

I give her the cash. All of it.

“I just want to talk.”

She’s weary, however doesn’t say a phrase.

We cease someplace else. Previous bridge. No visitors there.

We step out of the automotive. Mild them smokes.

I inform her about my father.

I inform her how we will’t say we’ve lived till we’re lifeless.

Her flip to chuckle. Doesn’t get it.

I clarify.

“To live is to die. You can’t live without dying. Only death can confirm life. Only through death can we say we have actually, really lived. Can’t say you’ve lived until you’re dead.”

“That makes no sense at all” stated the hooker.

She doesn’t get it.

“Wait-“, she continues.

She walks over to the car.

Comes back with the six-shooter.

Takes aim.

I smile.

“So you can only say you’ve had a life if I were to shoot you? Right now, like this?”

She appears to get it.

I level to the center of my brow.

“Exactly” I say.

She laughs. Flicks her cigarette over the bridge.

Says she’s achieved for the night time.

Walks off with the cash.

Leaves the six-shooter behind.

I inform her she will maintain it.

Doesn’t need it.

I inform her I may give her a carry.

Doesn’t need it.

I ask why.

She says I’m not regular.

She stated I wasn’t regular.

Did she say I wasn’t regular?

I’m regular.

I’m regular.

I’m regular.

I’m out of bullets for the night time.

* * * * * *

Don’t keep in mind the place I stay.

Return to the workplace.

Again up the steps.

Take Paul’s head with me.

Take it to my cubicle.

I sit down. Begin typing once more.

Normal work.

Display is pitch black.

As is the workplace. Proper. Saturday.

No energy. No drawback.

I’m sporting a stunning gown. Normal.

I can anticipate Monday. Solely regular.

Can anticipate my regular co-staff.

Can wait to inform them about my regular day.

I can wait.

That is regular.

I could be regular.

I’m regular.

I place Paul’s head in my drawer.

“Hakuna Matata, Paul.”

Credit score: Eigengraulogy (Reddit)

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